Waitrose Law returns with the third instalment of her legal profession festive fable (here are parts one and two)

PART THREE

Scrooge awoke again as the great bell chimed the hour of Two. Though no spirit entered his room, he heard the crackling of a fire and a great shout of laughter coming from his parlour, and knew his second unearthly visitor was upon him. He tiptoed from the bedroom and hesitated, uncertain, at the parlour door.

"Come in!" cried the Ghost. "Come in and know me better, man!"

Scrooge stared about him; some sprite had hung boughs of holly around the room; the table was garlanded with delicacies of every description and the scent of mulled wine filled the air. At the far end of the room stood a man in his middle years, rosy-cheeked and round, resplendent in a striped suit and a waistcoat with reindeer printed on it.

"Who are you, Spirit?" Scrooge asked.

"I am the Ghost of Christmas Present," said the Ghost. "Take my hand; we have much to see."

Scrooge took the Ghost's hand and in an instant they were in the street. Not the splendid avenue where Scrooge's lodgings lay, but a narrow, dingy terrace. Yet, for all that, its aspect was cheerful and gay; men and women called out Christmas greetings to each other as they bustled each to their own dwelling, children laughed and screamed as they played in the snow and couples lingered beneath the mistletoe hung in doorways.

Scrooge saw two men proceeding rather awkwardly towards them; one rather thin and clad in an old coat, the other enormously tall and broad, singing loudly and leaning on the first, who seemed to stumble under his companion's weight.

"Why, that's my clerk" exclaimed Scrooge. The Ghost beckoned Scrooge to follow the unfortunate clerk Des Cratchit with him, and they slipped behind the pair as they entered a shabby dwelling.

Inside, all was uproar; Mrs Cratchit and half a dozen small Cratchits were decorating the tree and laying the table and such a noise filled the small house that it was some moments before they realised that Mr Cratchit had returned. Once he had greeted them all enthusiastically and deposited his companion in a chair by the fire (whereupon he began to snore in a great basso profondo), Mr Cratchit turned to his wife.

"What happened to Tiny Tim?" she asked him, anxiety mingling with disapproval.

"I found him in El Vinos, offering his services to passing solicitors for a bottle of whisky plus travel costs. He's not been the same since they cut the VHCC rates."

Mrs Scrooge's face grew dark, but she busied herself with serving up their Christmas Eve feast. All present pronounced it the finest meal they had ever eaten, though Scrooge could not help but notice that every scrap had been consumed, as if none of those eating had feasted quite enough.

The plates being quite licked clean, Mr Cratchit proposed a toast. "A Merry Christmas to us all. God bless us!" he cried, and the family echoed him one and all.

"God bless us every one!" said Tiny Tim, who had awoken, and belched extravagantly.

"Spirit," said Scrooge, with a sudden foreboding, "tell me what will become of Tiny Tim."

"I see an insurance company call centre, a specialism in defending whiplash cases and, left in the corner, a slowly disintegrating wig."

"No!" cried Scrooge. "Oh, no, kind Ghost! Let him be spared!"

"If these shadows remain unaltered, this will be his fate," returned the Ghost, "What then? What matter if another fat cat must take its nose out of the trough?"

Scrooge hung his head to hear his own words flung back at him so, and was overcome with grief and remorse. But he raised his eyes on hearing his own name, for poor Des Cratchit's toasting was not yet done.

"Mr Scrooge!" said he. "Here's to Mr Scrooge, whom we have to thank for this feast!"

"Indeed!" cried Mrs Cratchit, snapping a breadstick menacingly. "I wish I had him here. I'd give him a piece of my mind!"

"My dearest love," said her husband. "'It's Christmas! And you really need to propose a workable alternative to constructive engagement if this criticism is to have any force."

"You've been saying that for years, and look where it's got us! Sharing one Turkey Twizzler between the nine of us! I'll drink to him," said Mrs Cratchit, "since I'll be needing a drink in any case'". Tiny Tim hiccupped his assent.

Scrooge's cheeks blazed in the darkness of that small house, to hear the bitterness in her voice. But before he could turn again to the Spirit, he heard a great bell strike the hour of Three and he found himself once again in the chill air of the street outside. He looked around for the Spirit, but it had departed. Out of the gloom came towards him a tall, thin figure; a grey-haired woman, dressed in black robes and wearing a long white wig. She pointed silently at Scrooge, and then at the street ahead of them, and Scrooge began to follow her, his fear mounting with every step...

The final instalment of WaitroseLaw's festive fable will be published next week. Here are parts one and two.

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Lawyer and blogger David Allen Green has had enough of tiresome legislation and meddlesome courts...

Government and parliament waste too much time passing legislation. Last year there were 31 public acts of parliament and nearly 3,000 statutory instruments. Whitehall and Westminster would be better employed doing other things.

And all this statutory output is subject to the tiresome jurisdiction of the courts — the High Court will quash delegated legislation and use “human rights” jurisprudence to interpret the word of parliament out of recognition. Something must be done.

So this Act is a modest proposal for our legislators and public officials. Once it is passed, no other legislation will ever be necessary and the meddlesome courts will be neutered. This would be a Good Thing.

Let’s start with Section 1:

“The Crown shall have the power to do anything, and nothing a Minister of the Crown does will be ultra vires.”

That should shut up the High Court for a while with their judicial review decisions.

But adding a second section to the Act will make sure that Ministers will act in the interests of all of us. So for the avoidance of doubt, Section 2 provides:

“The power given by Section 1 of this Act shall include the banning of things by any Minister of the Crown.”

But what things can be banned? Well, here’s Section 3:

“The things to be banned referred to in Section 2 of this Act shall be the things which a Minister of the Crown says are bad for us.”

Which in turn leads us to Section 4:

“What is bad for us for the purposes of Section 3 shall be determined by a Minister of the Crown with regard either to (a) headlines in the tabloid press of the day and/or (b) the headlines the Minister of the Crown would like to see in the tabloid press tomorrow.”

Section 5 will then provide:

“Any person

(a)  voicing opposition to a determination made under Section 4 of this Act; or

(b)  acting in breach of a ban made under Section 1 of this Act,

shall be deemed to not care about the children and/or to be soft on terrorism.”

The Act should also include the following power at Section 6 so that any emerging issues can be addressed:

“In the event something must be done, a Minister may at his or her discretion choose a thing to do, and the thing chosen shall be deemed as the something that must be done.”

This discretionary power, however, is subject to Section 7:

“The thing chosen under Section 6 shall not have any rational or proportionate relationship to any intended objective.”

Section 8 will provide:

“There shall be crackdowns, announced from time to time by press release. Any crackdown under this Section 8 shall not endure more than one day after the press release in which it is announced.”

Section 9 further provides:

“There shall always be new penalties. And these penalties shall always be deemed tougher than the previous penalties and so shall be called ‘tough new penalties’ until superseded by the next ‘tough new penalties’ when they become 'the old ineffective penalties'. However, any ‘tough new penalties’ under this Section 9 shall have no greater effect than ‘the old ineffective penalties', even if announced as part of a crackdown under Section 8.”

And Section 10 puts the Human Rights Act in its place:

“The Human Rights Act 1998, and especially section 3 of the Human Rights Act 1998, must be read and given effect in a way which is compatible with this Something Must Be Done Act 2014.”

Finally, Section 11 of the Act shall set out its extent and application:

“This Act extends beyond the rule of law.”

David Allen Green is a lawyer and journalist. He blogs at the Financial Times and Jack of Kent.

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Image by Graeme Maclean via Wikimedia Commons on a Creative Commons license.

Nigella Lawson's journalist brother Dominic has mocked the "(impressive) rear end" of the barrister for his sister's former personal assistant in the recently-concluded Grillo trial.

Writing today in the Daily Mail, Dominic Lawson appears to have found the winning performance of 4 Breams Buildings barrister Karina Arden hard to accept, forcing him to resort to a personal insult.

Fellow chattering-class member India Knight subsequently added her enthusiastic approval to Lawson's nastiness.

I like how Dominic Lawson's Mail piece today makes sneaky ref to Grillo lawyer's giant arse.

— India Knight (@indiaknight) December 23, 2013

Stay classy, #TeamNigella.

WaitroseLaw returns with the final instalment of her festive fable (you can read the whole fable in one place here)

PART FOUR

The Spirit led Scrooge silently through a tangle of streets that he did not recognise. Scrooge soon lost any idea of where they might have been. At last, the Spirit paused at a forbidding building on a bleak, windswept street. Outside it, groups of disreputable-looking characters stood in clusters, smoking cigarettes.

"What is this place?" asked Scrooge, his voice unsteady. The Spirit made no answer, but inclined her head towards a sign reading 'Inner London Crown Court'. Recalling the ill-omened retendering of the catering function at that accursed place, Scrooge suppressed an involuntary shudder, but followed the Spirit inside.

The Spirit led him to a dilapidated courtroom. It was altogether ordinary; a dusty, rather small room, where Justice ran its course amid polyester suits and the faint smell of Dettol. Yet where Scrooge had expected to see be-wigged barristers and their note-scribbling instructing solicitors, there were only computer screens. He glanced questioningly at the Spirit, who pointed instead to the dock.

Scrooge followed the Spirit's gaze and felt a thrill of horror freeze him to the spot. For it was he himself who stood there; stooping, greyed, though still miraculously smooth of forehead. He had no time to contemplate the wreck of his looks, however, for the courtroom was suddenly full of people. Clerks in headsets shuffled in and sat before the computer screens, greeting each other and laughing. A suited man sat in the judge's seat and brought the room to order.

"Auction number 3200176/Scrooge is about to begin. Ladies and gentlemen, you have ten minutes to submit your bids to represent the convict — oops, sorry, accused — on charges of expenses fraud."

Immediately, the room filled with voices and the bleeping of screens. Scrooge could not stop himself from shouting, "It was all entirely within the rules! This is a travesty!", but nobody paid any heed to his protestations.

"50 quid!"

"I've got 40 over here!"

"There's a plumber in Swindon who'll do it for 30 and sort out the heating in here for free!"

The man in the judge's seat chuckled. "Deregulation really has been a marvel, hasn't it? A chap last week managed five guilty pleas and fixed the vending machines, all in one afternoon."

After a few more minutes of hubbub, the room become quiet once more as the man in the judge's seat spoke again.

"Sold, to bidder no.008445, webuyanycase.com, for £5.99 plus 10% off the next one. Mr Scrooge, you will have five minutes to confer with your legal advisor before the trial of this matter begins." An usher handed the elderly Scrooge a mobile phone, which he held unsteadily to his ear. After a few minutes, the judge asked him how he wanted to plead, and he said, a little uncertainly, "Guilty".

"Where's my lawyer? Why aren't they here yet?" Scrooge asked the Spirit, but she simply shook her head and beckoned him to follow her once more. They went down to the cells, where Scrooge saw his older self weeping on a narrow bed as a prison officer took a note of his belongings.

"Spirit, are these things that will be, or that may be?" Scrooge asked the Spirit, terrified. But the remorseless Spirit made no answer. The court building flickered and faded around them and Scrooge found himself in an anonymous-looking office, full of tiny, cheap-looking desks. All were unoccupied, save one. To his horror, Scrooge recognised Tiny Tim, now much older and thinner; rheumy-eyed and grey-whiskered. He opened his desk drawer, took out a whiskey bottle, and took a long, resigned gulp from it, before returning to his pile of papers.

Scrooge felt tears prick his eyes. "Spirit!" he cried, reaching for the Ghost's arm. "Let this not be so! I swear, I shall heed what I have seen this night! I am not the man I was. Only let me be spared!"

Yet even as he reached to touch the Spirit, he perceived that it was shrinking and changing before his eyes, until it was no more than his own bedpost. Why, and it was his own bed, in his own lodgings; no cheerless prison cell! Scrooge heard the ringing of bells and sounds of cheer from the street below, and realised that it was Christmas Day and that he had been given that most precious of gifts, the chance to make amends.

From that day onward, no man celebrated Christmas as heartily, nor did more to uphold the cause of justice, than Mr Scrooge. Poor Cratchit got a raise, much to the delight of his wife, and was able to buy a real organic turkey for his next Christmas dinner. And, best of all, Tiny Tim was able to stay at the criminal Bar, thanks to a surprise decision to reverse legal aid rate cuts and a well-timed stay at the Priory.

A NOTE TO THE READER

As the observant reader may have realised from the happy ending and sudden change of heart on the part of Lord Chancellor Scrooge, this piece and the characters in it are entirely fictional. In fact, the future of legal aid remains very much in the balance. If you'd like to know more about it, have a look at Justice Alliance, the Criminal Bar Association or any number of equally good sources. Also, Merry Christmas!

The full Publicly Funded Christmas Carol is here.

WaitroseLaw is a lawyer with luscious organic selection, impeccable ethics and dinner party skills. She is not affiliated with or authorised by Waitrose.

Follow @WaitroseLaw

A rookie barrister has become embroiled in a very public war of words with King's College London after it terminated his honorary senior lecturer position over concern about a business he runs charging students for help appealing their exam results.

Daniel Sokol, who was called to the Bar in 2011 after several years working as a university lecturer, has been operating Alpha Academic Appeals alongside his fledgling legal career as a pupil at One Crown Office Row and now as a tenant at 12 King's Bench Walk.

But the company, which charges students £500-£1,000 for help in exam appeals, has attracted criticism for encouraging a litigious culture and making a profit from students.

Concerned about being perceived to be associated with Alpha Academic Appeals, King's College wrote to Sokol in November to inform him that his honorary senior lectureship in medical ethics and law was to be terminated.

Today Sokol, 35, has hit back with a stinging missive in Times Higher Education in which he quips that those who read King's letter to him "might have been forgiven for thinking that I had set up a brothel for students, with an endless supply of class A drugs."

In the article — which can be read here — Sokol goes on to argue that it is unfair to prevent students obtaining legal representation and that it is healthy to have lawyers involved in the exam appeals process.

"Lawyers should weed out the hopeless cases, not add to them. They should in practice assist, not obstruct, the decision-makers in making fair decisions...There is a good reason why students who believe they have been unfairly treated turn to lawyers. They know that, by and large, they will get better representation," writes the 12 KBW clinical negligence junior.

A spokesperson for King’s said that the institution was concerned about “the activities of law firms seeking to target students in the area of complaints and appeals” when free representation is available through the student union's 'Academic Advice Service'.

She added: “We have made clear to Dr Sokol our concerns about the perceived association between the College and his appeals business, which the College does not endorse. We have explained to him that in light of that, we no longer believe that a relationship with Dr Sokol is beneficial to the College in general or the School of Medicine in particular."

It's safe to assume that few lawyers have successfully charmed members of the opposite sex by lecturing them in excruciatingly boring detail about their job.

Yet this is the precise scenario which the European Commission has attempted to bring to life in a memorable new comic strip...

'Competition in Europe: It's your deal' sees an official in the Commission's Directorate General for Competition (DG Comp) — where posts are typically filled by young lawyers, often on secondment from City law firms — wow an attractive cartoonist who he meets at an airport with tales of legal life.

The pair's exchange begins during the queue to check in to a flight to Brussels. After a cursory chat about the world of comics, the conversation rapidly turns to competition law, an area which the cartoonist finds herself absolutely captivated by.

Delighted by the enthusiasm shown by the cartoonist, the lawyer unleashes upon her wide-ranging reflections about his job, which he illustrates with a price-fixing case study. Finally, as the pair board their flight, the by-now-competition-law-mad cartoonist pledges to pen a comic strip about the lawyer's job.

Be warned, the result is nine pages long — but, if you have time, it's an amusing read.

This year some public sector workers will receive pay rises. Criminal barristers and solicitors, meanwhile, have been told to expect pay cuts of 17.5% for less serious cases and 30% for very high cost cases (VHCCs).

For those at the junior end of the profession, who are already scraping by on little more than the minimum wage, the government's proposed reduction in legal aid income could mean game over — unless they have access to private funds to sustain them.

At which point the criminal Bar would become a "rich man's job" and legal aid law firms would have to dramatically increase in size — and take advantage of economies of scale — in order to survive, these Bristol-based lawyers explain in a video they made last week.

The chart above was compiled for Legal Cheek by Blackfriars Chambers criminal barrister Jon Mack. There is more from Mack about this morning's strike — which we'll be covering throughout the day — on his excellent blog.

This is how the first strike in the Bar's history looked

It began, rainily...

But the crowds still arrived en masse (and the rain stopped!)

Crowds massing and clouds clearing at Southwark Crown Court. #walkout4justice #fight4legalaid

— The CBA (@TheCriminalBar) January 6, 2014

With robing rooms empty nationwide...

...courts ground to a standstill...

And the barrister's strike has now brought Snaresbrook to a complete standstill. All trials adjourned until 2pm.

— CourtNewsUK (@CourtNewsUK) January 6, 2014

...as barristers sought other means to practice their advocacy.

There were some excellent bewigged team photos.

Birmingham Crown Court

Southwark Crown Court

The Old Bailey

And then it was back to chambers, with lawyers leaving behind, according to police, a scene of "chaos and confusion".

Justice secretary Chris Grayling is due to make a final decision on the Ministry of Justice's proposals to cut publicly funded fee rates in the coming months.

Images by: @3templegardens, @WilberDaForce, @TheCriminalBar, ‏@TConnelly123, ‏@CatherineS_Rose, ‏@StIvesCriminal, @TheCriminalBar, @frances_skynews, @DexterDiasQC, @KelvinJRobbins, @3templegardens.

If demonstrating your desperation through a strike doesn't change the mind of your foes, simply go to Lemmetweetthatforyou.com and insert a pro-lawyer tweet on their behalf...

It works for the MoJ too.

Make your own here.

Defendants (and their lawyers) appearing at Teeside Crown Court next week may be interested to read this post by a prospective juror, which appeared on the Newton Aycliffe Neighbourhood Police Facebook page.

Here are some more of Ged Hammond's reflections on jury service, as posted on his Facebook page.

According to the Northern Echo, which spotted the worrying messages yesterday, Hammond says that he has since been excused from jury service.

However, due to its policy of not commenting on individual jurors, the Ministry of Justice was unable to confirm this.

A spokesperson from the Attorney General’s office, which deals with potential contempt of court from jurors, said: “This matter will now be investigated further so that the Attorney General can consider what, if any, action is required to be taken.”

Meanwhile, earlier this week Hammond was at it again, this time musing on legal aid.

Wannabe barristers who are due to submit their Bar Professional Training Course (BTPC) applications tomorrow should take a look at the Bar Standards Board's (BSB) reports of the monitoring visits it pays to course providers. We've been tweeting some of the most eyebrow-raising findings during the day, and have embedded them below...

25% of BPTC students at City Law School had a 2:2.

Surprising that in 2012 25% of #BPTC students at City Law School had a 2:2... https://t.co/kfP2iLNzVu pic.twitter.com/Uj8ZrMk6Lq

— Legal Cheek (@legalcheek) January 8, 2014

A third of full-time students on the Manchester Met BPTC had a 2:2.

Also lots of 2:2s on Manc Met #BPTC - 1/3 of full time & 1/2 of part time students had 2:2 https://t.co/BYvMUdhuYv pic.twitter.com/gjly0cdVGe

— Legal Cheek (@legalcheek) January 8, 2014

The 2:2 ratio was potentially even higher at the University of Law's Birmingham branch.

Only 60% of fulltime Birmingham Uni of Law #BPTC students had 1st/2:1. So 40% 2:2s? https://t.co/wZ2nMaF8Sf pic.twitter.com/eCNDESZvJs

— Legal Cheek (@legalcheek) January 8, 2014

No figures were available for the BPP course, but 2:2s also appear to be an issue, alongside the frequently-voiced concern about some non-EU students' poor English language skills.

Concerns about 2:2s & students' poor English on the BPP #BPTC https://t.co/QKEZMBaBid pic.twitter.com/qw9BpQPeNP

— Legal Cheek (@legalcheek) January 8, 2014

There were more English language issues at Nottingham Law School.

More English language issues among #BPTC students, this time at Nottingham Law School #BPTC https://t.co/RzOlSRQJcX pic.twitter.com/HTTfDHjBLx

— Legal Cheek (@legalcheek) January 8, 2014

Three quarters of the students on last year's BPTC at the University of West of England (UWE) were from outside the EU.

75% non-EU students on the UWE #BPTC last year https://t.co/qjGKfWBRY7 pic.twitter.com/14ouiKzj0g

— Legal Cheek (@legalcheek) January 8, 2014

Pupillage success rates appear to be depressingly low among Cardiff Law School BPTCers.

2 (out of 60!) students on Cardiff #BPTC had obtained pupillage at time of monitoring visit https://t.co/p3NU48tkFs pic.twitter.com/gVIwrUeZUz

— Legal Cheek (@legalcheek) January 8, 2014

Northumbria BPTC students seem to have had more luck, but it's the non-EU students dominating in the pupillage-bagging stakes.

Northumbria #BPTC: high % of non-EU students, OK home student pupillage success rate (27%) https://t.co/6Ox9tQE2Gb pic.twitter.com/YfAWDl7AUW

— Legal Cheek (@legalcheek) January 8, 2014

It's no surprise that the only BPTC which requires students to sit an aptitude test to gain entry to the course has by far the highest pupillage success rate. If only the BSB would force others to follow Kaplan Law School's lead...

The Kaplan #BPTC (which has an entry test) has by far the best pupillage ratio https://t.co/SFUoO5IOC3 pic.twitter.com/jpseN6FFap

— Legal Cheek (@legalcheek) January 8, 2014

The BPTC monitoring visits in full for 2011-2013 can be found here.

An appeal of the dismissal of a professional negligence claim against several London divorce lawyers contains an eye-catching paragraph...in which it is revealed that the claimant sued because, amongst other things, the lawyers failed to advise her that divorce would mean the end of her marriage...

The full transcript of the Court of Appeal case, which upheld the previous decision of Liverpool County Court, is here, courtesy of Bailii.

As spotted by @nearlylegal.

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In the most recent pupillage application round Weir House Chambers advertised for "up to two pupillages to commence in early 2014". The closing date for applications was Friday 6 December, with interviews to be held tomorrow (11 January).

Then, earlier this week applicants received this message...

We contacted Weir House chief Gerard McDermott QC and he told us:

"I am not sure that I can add anything to the message that you refer to. Though you will appreciate that we are delaying recruitment rather than 'withdrawing ...pupillage'.

"I hope that those that know me and James Bell would acknowledge that we are very aware of the difficulties facing new entrants to the Bar and want to help where we can."

Weir House Chambers isn't a legal aid set — it specialises in the comparatively lucrative areas of personal injury and clinical negligence — and so shouldn't be bracketed with the likes of Charter Chambers, Guildhall Chambers and the now-defunct Tooks, which were all forced to cancel their 2014 pupillages. But it is pretty tiny, comprising just McDermott, fellow barrister James Bell and two "legal assistants". So perhaps Weir House shouldn't be held up to the graduate recruitment standards expected of more established outfits.

But this still sucks for students. OK, delay taking on pupils if absolutely necessary. But why make those who have spent valuable time and energy on their applications re-apply?

Update 13:52 — This post originally stated that Charter Chambers, Guildhall Chambers and the now-defunct Tooks Chambers cancelled their 2014 pupillages "for financial reasons". This phrase has been removed after a complaint from Charter Chambers, which states that "This is too blunt an expression and was not and never has been the reason we gave for our decision."

Ever wondered what the lawyer-hating commenters on high quality forums such as the Mail Online look like in action?

The troll "Slipknot P Harrington" provides an insight in the video below, where he rants about the "over-paid posh grizzly little solicitors and barristers" who took part in last week's strike.

Convinced that said lawyers earn £100K-200K a year, Harrington — sporting a V for Vendetta-style mask — insists that legal aid is "nothing more than corporate welfare designed to keep these grubby little parasites in well-paid jobs and of course to keep them voting Tory".

Watch the rant below.

Earlier this week a leaked email revealed that law students were the worst performers at an Oxford University college. Given the more challenging nature of a law degree relative to most arts degrees, perhaps this should come as no surprise. But it does beg the question whether studying law in the high-pressure surroundings of Oxford or Cambridge is such a great idea.

We asked this week's podcast guest, recent Oxford University law graduate Maleha Khan (pictured below with Legal Cheek's Kevin Poulter), for her thoughts on the matter...

Like the majority of law students in her year at Oxford's Wadham College — only three out of nine have become lawyers — Khan has decided against pursuing a legal career for the time being.

"You are made very aware of your abilities and limitations at Oxford," she says, adding that the experience knocked her confidence in some ways, despite it being "a really good start".

Her words echo the sentiment expressed by journalist Malcolm Gladwell in his recent book David and Goliath, where he argues that being a little fish in a big and intimidating Ivy League pond is far from ideal grounding. Instead, Gladwell recommends that all but the very best students opt for universities outside the elite tier.

Or, for wannabe lawyers, perhaps the trick is to study a less-demanding subject at a top university and then convert to law at a later stage. This route, says Khan, has worked for some of the Oxford classics students she knows, a higher proportion of whom have gone on to become lawyers than her law student friends.

Listen to Khan's discussion with Kevin Poulter and Legal Cheek editor Alex Aldridge in the podcast below.

This podcast is also available on iTunes.

Weber Shandwick head of public affairs Alex Deane doesn't regret his time scraping a living at the criminal Bar, but amid a continuing assault on the profession it was time to take what he had learned and change careers

I know that, just as many solicitors now excel in higher courts, there are plenty of barristers who have paper-heavy practices. But for me, the Bar has always meant excellence in advocacy. This is what made me aspire to it.

I joined my Inn (Middle Temple) in 2000, while I was still at university. I hadn't read law, but three years of debating as an undergraduate meant that the opportunities for advocacy of the criminal Bar really appealed to me. I debated throughout the CPE (now the GDL) and the BVC (now the BPTC), representing the Inn at the World Championships twice — in South Africa (beautiful Stellenbosch in the winelands) and in Singapore (where most importantly I met my wife, and also won the competition, with my remarkably gifted partner, who’s still at the Bar).

The Inn was incredibly supportive, just as — in my view — all four Inns continue to be for all their students, even in toughish financial times. Thanks to the Inn, at this point on the timeline my run-up to the Bar is “so far, so good”. But as astute readers of Legal Cheek, you’ll have spotted the impending doom problem already, in the inclusion of the words “criminal Bar”.

I worked for the Conservative Party after the BVC, and started pupillage in October 2005. Even back then, people had often said to me that “crime doesn’t pay”, but, like many people before and since, I’d taken such words with a big pinch of self-confident salt. I suppose the big “if I knew then…” question for me is this: if I had known that governments of both stripes (or “all” I suppose, given the Coalition) were going to eviscerate the profession I wanted to join, would I still have gone to the Bar in the first place?

It’s pretty easy for time to salve raw wounds and for (let’s be generous) near-middle-aged people like me to retrospectively colour their route to where they are now as happy in all ways, to think that their path was all “good character-building experience” no matter how desperately unfair the system or how scant the reward for toil at the time. Even bearing all of that in mind, having thought about it a lot I genuinely think that my answer is “yes” — that I’m still glad to have been at the Bar — but that, despite that, sadly I could not in all good conscience recommend the criminal Bar to any young person now contemplating it. The rest of this piece will try to explain those two points.

Without repeating what I’ve said recently about action by barristers and solicitors in support of legal aid, in my view those working in the criminal law are doing a public service — one I was proud to undertake. My years at the criminal Bar certainly gave me exposure to a much broader cross-section of society than I or many other people might be likely to encounter, and it meant that I was taught a forensic approach to thinking and case-making that has served me well since.

But if you pay at a level below subsistence, then no matter how idealistic, people will eventually have to leave, or not join in the first place. Putting it generously, the government plays fast and loose with the truth about barristerial income, publishing an annual “top ten” list of people earning from legal aid, trying to win over the public by criticising “fat cats”. But what they do with that list is just like the knowing misuse of “deficit” and “debt”. They fail to explain that such earnings might have been accrued over several years, are before tax, are for a self-employed person without pension or holiday or sick pay, are pre-expenses like chambers rent, and so on etc. In fact, as many readers of this blog will know, the fact is that some barristers in criminal law are earning as little as £13,000 a year (and that’s after paying much more than that for the courses to qualify). There are more and more bankruptcies in the junior Bar and many are earning less than £25,000 a year; that’s before the expenses they incur and don’t get back.

A day in court for a criminal barrister for an appearance can often be the fixed rate of £84.50 — that’s before non-reimbursed travel expenses, which often amount to more than the cost of the fee, and often goes unpaid for months or even years. That is to say that the profession is being deliberately crushed. You can’t live on that, plainly — neither on the raw amount, nor on the amount left after your expenses (which may exceed it), nor in an environment with the uncertainty about when — or if — one will be paid. It is sadly true that many at the junior criminal Bar would literally be better off on benefits rather than working their 70+ hour weeks.

So, while in retrospect I can see that I personally gained a great deal from my time at the Bar, it’s impossible for me to recommend to anyone without a big private income (which I didn’t have) or a suicidal appetite for getting into debt (ditto) that they should now go to the criminal Bar. When I was there (I stopped in 2009*), the situation for the criminal Bar was already on a steep downward curve. Now, it’s got a lot worse.

And I’m afraid that, despite the admirable best efforts of the CBA, which I applaud, I fear that it’s going to get a lot worse still. Since 1997, fees for criminal cases have been cut by 40% — but the government is now proposing a further 30% cut. The Bar has been unbelievably patient and stoic about it: if that happened to any other public servants, I think that there would have been riots by now. If you read nothing else about this, take a look at the junior Bar in their own words for a sense of what that means in real life.

As I’ve said before, in my view, when the Bar is destroyed, access to justice will suffer. The state will be able to do what it likes far more, and people will be subject to the power of unrestrained prosecution like never before in the modern age (and many more guilty people will go unpunished thanks to inadequate prosecution). A strong independent Bar is a great barrier between the power of the state and the individual. But parking all of those principles (which I can now afford to wax lyrical about from the sidelines), the harm being done to the individuals in the current maelstrom is simply so severe that I couldn’t advise anyone to do it. Despite the steady flow of people into the job at the bottom still, if you’d like to test my position, ask any junior tenant working in crime what they’d say, too.

Of course, these aren’t just questions for people considering starting a career at the criminal Bar. They’re also live questions for those people I admire so much who are still there. To those still plugging away, I’d say this. If you can make it work, then I’m delighted for you. Our country needs advocates and thank goodness that it’s working out in your case. But if you’re getting deeper and deeper into debt, consider this. You have skills, and you have options.

Those options don’t mean severing yourself from the world of the law. My connections with the Bar continue. I'm still a door tenant with my fantastic chambers. I’m going to serve on the Inn’s new Membership Committee. I'm proud to be elected at a local level in the City of London, which in part was a result of my time at the Bar (my Ward contains the Temple). I taught debating for the Inn for ages. And so on.

The point is that if you want to leave, or if you have to, there is a life after the criminal Bar, and several routes within it offer many opportunities for case-making and advocacy in different forms — for which your experience suits you admirably.

*Here’s another issue, by the way. I left practice in 2009. I got a cheque a couple of weeks ago.

Alex Deane is a Square Mile Common Councilman and head of public affairs at Weber Shandwick.

Follow @ajcdeane

Yesterday's call by Nicholas Lavendar QC to limit Bar Professional Training Course (BPTC) numbers has become an annual tradition among occupants of the year-long Bar Council chairmanship. As you can see below, Lavendar's recent predecessors in the role have all made similar statements — and then done nothing...

First, here is what Lavendar said, in an interview he gave to the Law Society Gazette:

It's not a dissimilar sentiment to that which was expressed by previous Bar Council chair Maura McGowan QC, who exclaimed in her inaugural speech:

In 2012, McGowan's predecessor, Michael Todd QC, told the Evening Standard of his "great concern" about BPTC numbers:

Prior Bar Council chief Nicholas Green QC went even further in 2011, reflecting at the Bar Council conference on the moral "qualms" he felt about the current system of entry to the Bar:

Since Green uttered those words, the number of pupillages offered annually has dropped further, and this year is believed to be just over the 400 mark. Meanwhile, BPTC enrolments rose in 2012 (the most-recent year for which statistics have been published) from 1,618 to 1,669.

The Facebook sensation Things Law Students Don't Say (TLSDS) has received almost 23,000 likes by posting statements that law students would never utter.

But what about things law students do say? We asked the anonymous wannabe lawyers behind TLSDS to select 12 real-life law student problems for our panel of experts to answer...

TLSDS: "I'm on track for a good 2.1. I'm passionate about law. I'm on the executive committee of a student society. I represent my university in a competitive sport. Despite this, I've received an abundance of vacation scheme and mini-pupillage rejections.”

Lauren Smith, first seat trainee in corporate at Mayer Brown's London office:

"The fact that you say you’ve had an 'abundance' of rejections for vacation schemes as well as mini-pupillages makes me wonder how many firms or sets you have actually applied to. Making multiple applications for the sake of it can be counterproductive, as it makes it far more tempting to cut and paste large chunks of your applications, which will be obvious to the person reading. Talk to trainees and pupils at law fairs, attend open days, seminars and events hosted by firms or sets to get a feel for the environments you are most suited to and the work you find most interesting. This will help you to be more selective in your applications.

"Don’t amass CV building experiences for the sake of it or just list all the interesting activities you’ve been involved in. Instead spend more time considering which type of legal environment you’d like to work in and then think about how you can use your extra-curricular experiences to strengthen your applications. This way you'll come across as more authentic, and your application will be refreshing and eye-catching."

TLSDS: "Lord Denning was evidently a legend but I'm struggling to see the point of learning about his dissenting judgments."

Hardwicke barrister Jasmine Murphy:

"Firstly, it is unimaginative to dwell on Lord Denning too much. Even my cat has heard of him (although she doesn’t think he was a legend).

"As to your actual query: The point of reading Denning's dissenting judgments is that you can generally find a Denning obiter dicta to fit any argument. If you want to read some elegantly entertaining judgments of a recently retired judge try Sir Alan Ward, who once said in a judgment: 'This case involves a number of — and here I must not fall into Dr Spooner’s error — warring bankers.'"

TLSDS: "I want to choose modules that I enjoy, but I'm worried that employers might think I haven't chosen ones that are relevant for my future career."

Norton Rose Fulbright trainee recruitment manager Caroline Lindner:

"We honestly don't mind which modules you choose. After all, it's your degree and we will be choosing your LPC electives for you! You are more likely to do well in the modules you most enjoy. Also, remember that 50% of Norton Rose Fulbright's trainee intake each year represent non-law subjects and we don't stipulate which modules they should study."

"Only students from wealthy families can afford to become barristers."

Inner Temple outreach manager Anthony Dursi:

"The Inns of Court provide over £5 million to those looking to train to become a barrister in England and Wales. All awards are merit-based but financial need is taken into account for many of these awards. You can see how Inner Temple takes need into account here. You will also want to look at the Kalisher Trust and see if you are eligible for their scholarships.

"There are also a number of work experience schemes to help students gain work experience, including the Inner Temple Schools Project for state school students and the Pegasus Access Scheme that provides mini-pupillages to university students meeting certain criteria to support diversity and social mobility."

TLSDS: "I don't want to drown in debt to become just another law graduate among many."

Nick Read, legal services apprentice at Kennedys:

“I turned down offers from two top 15 universities in order to accept a place as a legal services apprentice at Kennedys. It was an invaluable opportunity to learn from experienced partners, solicitors and chartered legal executives while developing my own experience.”

TLSDS: "Land law is the bane of my life. I don't know how to make it more bearable."

Hania Lynch, senior lecturer and land team leader, University of Law, Bloomsbury

"Land law is one of those subjects which often starts out as a little overwhelming. This is because, no matter how intelligent you are, you cannot answer land law questions well without having a pretty good knowledge base. However, a student who works through our course materials will get to a point (often a few weeks into the course and sometimes at a later stage) when the entire land law system suddenly presents itself to them as clear and logical. From that point on, they are likely to love the subject as much as I do.

"I call this "having your land law moment" — I can remember what I was wearing & where I was sitting when I had mine..."

TLSDS: "There are way too many cases to learn for this exam."

Giles Proctor, dean of Kaplan Law School:

"Answer in a Nutshell (so to speak!): Less is more — one good authority, deployed relevantly, correctly cited with a line of salient facts and a ratio that is not butchered too much is worth five scattergun case references.

"Be brutal: choose key authorities to revise (one per key point you want to make only) and have a hit list to deploy that you relate to the question. You will rise above the dross, avoid mind clutter and, heaven knows, you might enjoy the feeling of exam nirvana that a correctly-addressed answer brings."

TLSDS: "I find it difficult to balance my degree, extra-curricular activities, social life, procrastination, careers events, and applications."

Fiona Dreghorn, third seat trainee in IP/IT at Mayer Brown's London office:

"Remember that you’re not alone. The procrastination is probably because you’re feeling a bit overwhelmed by everything at the moment. Being a good lawyer means being able to break up big work tasks into manageable chunks and being able to prioritise the most important aspects of your work. There is no better time to start learning this skill than now!

"Focus on your degree because without a good degree there will be no law career. As you’re struggling, it may be worth having less social life (for now), perhaps stopping one of your extra-curricular activities and maybe asking a friend to pick up relevant leaflets from career fairs rather than you attending them all. You’ll feel calmer as a result and your degree and applications will benefit from your time management skills."

TLSDS: "I can't get a training contract."

Lucie Couchman, chartered legal executive at Woodfines Solicitors:

“I graduated from the LPC with a distinction in 2006. Obtaining a training contract is always a very competitive task. To make matters worse about 12-18 months after graduating the recession began, and having gained my work experience in property the downturn in the property market made finding that elusive training contract near impossible.

"The legal profession is becoming more dynamic and there is no longer just one route to a successful career. I have many friends and colleagues studying with the Chartered Institute of Legal Executives (CILEx), having converted from the traditional law degree/LPC route via the CILEx Graduate Fast-track Diploma. With the prospect of independent practice rights in some areas just around the corner, it is becoming increasingly attractive.”

TLSDS: "Since becoming a law student, I over-analyse every normal situation and I don't know how to switch off."

Hardwicke barrister Jasmine Murphy:

"Even law students need friends that exist outside the Denning Mooting Club. This kind of thing is going to make even the most sympathetic non-law person sidle away towards the nearest exit. Worse still, you’re never going to pull. Fail to switch off from law and your date will then start wondering whether you’re going to murmur in their ear later, 'This reminds me of a case I was reading, about implied consent...'"

TLSDS: "I have a million pages of reading to do every week. I have no idea where to start, and I don't know which bits are relevant."

Louise Mawer, GDL Course Leader, University of Law, Bloomsbury:

"It's not at all unusual for students to feel overwhelmed by their workload, particularly at the beginning of a course; there is a lot to learn.

"Students should be guided by their tutors and session materials; these will hopefully provide an indication of which points deserve most time and attention. Approaching a task correctly helps. For example, if students have to prepare an answer to a workshop exercise, they should read through this before embarking on their reading, to get a feel for where their studies are going. Another strategy that works for some students is to weight their time in favour of consolidation. This enables them to finalise their notes with the benefit of knowledge gained in class.

"Ultimately the GDL and LPC are not only about legal skills and knowledge. It's crucial for lawyers to be able to manage their time effectively and prioritise their various tasks; the GDL and LPC provide an excellent opportunity for students to develop these key skills."

TLSDS: "I have no legal work experience. I keep getting rejected for legal work experience because I have no legal work experience. I need legal work experience in order to experience legal work so I can become a lawyer."

Norton Rose Fulbright trainee recruitment manager Caroline Lindner:

"We welcome legal and non-legal work experience of all types. If you are receiving rejections for formal vacation schemes, I would suggest applying for open days and also writing to local solicitors/barristers to request work experience. You can also utilise your university alumni network. We recognise that obtaining legal work experience is challenging, but we don't expect candidates to have secured previous experience in the sector in order to obtain work experience with us. Norton Rose Fulbright does, however, expect a well put-together application form with evidence of research into the sector and our firm specifically."

Listen to Legal Cheek's podcast with the founder of TLSDS here.

Images, in order, by: TLSDS, Giphy, Twitter, @jaredmbot (Instagram), Giphy, Giphy, Quick Meme, Law School Memes, Giphy, Giphy, Make a Meme, @elmorrice (Twitter), Meme Crunch.

Following the popularity of '12 of the least glamorous court buildings in England and Wales', here is a selection of 12 of the most charming...

Isles of Scilly Magistrates' Court: delightful.

Lancaster County Court: villagey feel.

Plymouth Combined Court Centre: arty.

Lewes Combined Court Centre: Regency splendour.

Aylesbury County Court: magical garden kingdom.

Kendal Magistrates' Court: like a welcoming youth hostel.

Knutsford Crown Court: impregnable beauty.

Hull Magistrates' Court: nice use of a golden horse.

Truro Crown Court: sun-dappled English Riviera paradise.

Burnley Magistrates' Court: when Britain was great.

Llandrindod Wells Magistrates' Court: timber-clad haven

Lincoln Crown Court: would be nice to stay forever.

'12 of the least glamorous court buildings in England and Wales' is here.

Law students need to remember that "the you of today" may differ from "the you of the years ahead", says Northumbria University professor of law and society Chris Ashford

I rocked up at university convinced I was going to be a barrister. I’d read the career guides, I knew the elements of qualification and I knew I’d have to study these things called ‘foundation subjects'. Contract presumably involved, well, contracts: those paper things you sign. Criminal law: those bad people who would make for an endlessly entertaining and worthwhile career. Tort, err, no idea. In truth, like many undergraduates arriving at law school, I wasn’t entirely sure what to expect.

I quickly found subjects which engage with socio-legal study; welfare law, comparative law and constitutional law captured my interest. The only problem was that this interesting stuff seemed to have very little value for my career ambitions. Houston, we have a problem. It was only once I had embarked on my professional training that I realised the rich breadth of subjects on offer. I also realised that I wasn’t quite as determined on a legal career as I thought I was. The practice stuff seemed, well, kinda boring.

You see, it’s only when you arrive at university that you become aware that there are an awful lot of other people who seem to have had the same idea as you. They opted for a legal career too. The only snag is that they seem to want it a little bit more than you, have more money than you, more confidence, and their dad seems to have some annoyingly useful contacts and work placements already sorted. The offer of a week photocopying in the small town law firm back home seemed a tad underwhelming by comparison. That abstract debt for the Bar Professional Training Course (BPTC) and the travel to mini-pupillages suddenly seemed slightly scarier, and the bankable career considerably less certain.

It’s in this moment that many can simply give up on a career in law. For some this is a shame, perhaps reflecting a failure to sufficiently prepare for the race they were embarking upon. More often than not, it reflects a lack of prior exposure to the realities of the legal marketplace.

In this respect, it helps to gain practical experience while at university and law school, be it through advice clinics, Streetlaw, pro bono or conventional work experience. The challenge for law schools is to balance this more careers-focused approach with providing what we call a "liberal" experience. After all, most students nationally don’t go on to legal practice.

This can be because they feel the barriers mentioned above are insurmountable, but in many cases it is because — like me — they come to the view that a legal career is not for them. A liberal degree provides an exposure to broader ideas, recognising the relationship between law and society, and the ways that law shapes and (re)makes the world around us. I’m biased, but this is the cool stuff. Of course, it’s not — or at least it shouldn’t be — completely separate from the practical aspects of the law.

The you of today may differ from the you of the years ahead. For that reason, it helps to be open-minded about your career. After eight years in legal education, at 33 I became a law professor, having advised parliament, the NHS, and shaped government policy. My research has shaped the thinking of other academics around the world and proven the stuff of nightmares for right wing neo-cons in the States, and social conservatives in the UK. I’ve also had the immense privilege of shaping the lives of hundreds of law students. I get to travel the world talking to people about my ideas and listening to theirs. It’s a long way from my original hopes of being a barrister but it’s an amazing job, and an amazing life. It’s a life enabled by a great law school experience and my own openness to possibilities. Remember, there are always possibilities.

Chris Ashford is professor of law and society at Northumbria University.

Follow @lawandsexuality

The full 'If I knew then what I know now' series is here.